voices forgotten...

A gray fog looms ahead,

And I stand engulfed
The smell of jasmines hovers around me
A gentle reminder of a time long gone…
I stand alone, not knowing where to head.

Memories floods in, my glass fills to the brim,

Unwanted thoughts long stashed away

I see all too clearly when I rather not,

I hear and see things I’d long tried to forget.

Things I thought I’d forgotten…

But I’m encircled;

A whirlpool of voices long forgotten…

Some like the acid lime

And some, the sweet of honey…

Voices of people, loved and cared,

Long gone, yet stayed.

As the human crescendo ebbs

Like the ocean tide moons away,

Every voice is yet again forgotten

But one stays behind, one that tugs at my heart,

One, pure, deep and true…

The voice of a young girl,

A girl who was once me…

A girl who wanted nothing, yet everything,

A girl with the twinkle in her eyes still a flame

A voice I’d long forgotten,

A voice I wish I’d listened to…

I stand still amid that white darkness,

Wishing I could go back in time

But as the fog lifts, so do the spirits,

For I see that the girl is still in me…

A part forever-

Like the air in my lungs, or the blood in my veins…

A voice never gone…

Never one of the voices forgotten…

just a thought...

Gosh you'd never know how much I dig colors. Until quite recently I had this huge thing for black clothes and accessories... Ok, maybe I still have that love; but now I cannot stop loving colorful flashy things... just today afternoon I was sitting outside my house and I saw this young girl wearing a totally beautiful pair of sandals. It had about every color of the rainbow... The day was so gloomy and cloudy that till that moment I was as cloudy as the sky.

But those sandals just brightened my day. I don't know why, but at times colors have this beautiful effect on us. each color imparting a particular feeling in us. No wonder nature is filled with all these beautiful colors; without these colors, I for one would not want to live here...
so enjoy them colors... :) have fun...

for once, leave me alone...
let me be in this warm darkness,
a much safer place than the cold light.
a light that threatens to burn you
a light that makes you forget
a time when everything was so much better
this darkness is so much better
its warm hands caress me
weaving a beautiful cocoon around me
keeping me safe from the prying light
oh leave me alone...
it hurts, not just my eyes,
my heart too, pinpricked for every inch
let me be in this haven
for not all light is heavenly
and not al darkness satanic..

Fire flowing like the blue in the ocean
Its red like the blood in my veins
The white that signifies all pure
The liquid heat makes its way through it
Loving the colors, a riot
A phoenix gives in to life
As t burns and awakes
From a slumber that eludes it so
Its eyes look on
The black is left behind
It cries for the much awaited
It's tired, broken..
The fire in it and around lives on
Keeping it alive,
Away from the darkness and into the light
Keeping it chained and shackled
As another ordeal of life awaits...

MOONSHINER...

It was dark...

I sitting there, or maybe I was in my bed,

Looking at the ceiling;

The sound of silence, beautiful,

Yet was interrupted,

For a faint strumming on the guitar.

I go to the next room

And I see him with the guitar.

Him on the sill, the moon shines behind him;

The light bouncing off the silver strings.

Moonshiner.

I sip at the illicit exquisite,

He plays those songs I love.

I swirl his wine in my glass

Playing with the light, a fire.

The hot red leaves a trail on my lips

He sings as he strums…

All for me.

He serenades as the moon shines…

Getting me more drunk

As times moves on.

Moonshiner.

I sit there, caught in that moment,

Music twirling around me,

I look at him, drowning in his eyes…

Drunk as I am,

Falling further in his spell.

I feel him near me…

His voice caressing my skin,

I drift into a sleep of music and wine,

Dreaming of guitar tunes and red hues…

Arms keeping me safe as I dream,

Tugging at my own wild self,

My moonshiner…

wow valentine's day... exciting right? the time for boxes of chocolates and bunches of red roses... love is in the air. mushy movies and passionate offerings and speeches... and here's that day which has painted the whole town red... so...
HAPPY VALENTINE'S EVERYONE!!!

...

Many a things have caught my eye
In this world of mystery and satire.
Some for their shine and sheen
And some for their very lack of it all.
But one thing that would never
Go away from me
Would be the understanding
In that one smile.
She stood there
Waiting for whatever I'd to give;
Never expecting much;
Happy with what
I deemed to bestow on her.
She never did complain
Not when I opened my Pandora's box,
Or when I let out them hungry locusts on her.
She just took my hand,
Never leaving my side.
The girl stood there
Waiting for me
With that smile that
Never did snuff out on me.
I stand there grateful,
A bit sheepish, a weak little smile.
She still stands there waiting,
With that smile,
That I've fallen in love with...

locked in a photograph
looking at all peering in...
i stare, when you stare
and look
i am imprisoned
in my memories and mind
a photograph, blotchy,
blurred and sticking to the glass
my face plastered
my nose rubbed in the dirt
memories flood
and i drown
never fully sinking
always up till knee-high

...

It is winter all over again...
I am cold and blue.
The snow is no longer white
Harsh it is, muddied and brown.
A piece of that unholy mirror
Has pierced my heart...
I was mistaken.
It was not spring
It never was...
A twinkle blinds my eye again...
Tricking me once more.
I am back outside...
In the winter
In the cold
All alone...

trying to unwind,
moving out from the looming relentless fog...
standing in the darkness
i stand waiting to be unraveled.
tears; aren't they the best medicine?
frustrated, its all i count on.
letting my blood flow through these beads, the droplets..
a lump in my throat
for a reason i know not...
why won't it just go away...
why do i stand in the darkness
groping for something i don't know.
stupidity reaches new heights
as i solve my non-existent mystery
i am broken
for was i ever wild?
i am defeated
for did i ever struggle?

Not at my very best

Not at my very best,
I sigh.
To get myself back,
I try.
These fallen leaves
Are playing, dancing
And living their lives, their afterlives...
Oh they are running away from me.
The sands are slipping away;
The waters dripping away.
In self-pity, I am drowning,
To get myself back,
I try.
In the middle, in the eye
Of a whirlwind
I stand
Doing nothing,
Seeing all the world rewind.
My oh my
What have i gotten myself into,
Stagnant and numb
I stand
Doing nothing.
Watching houses, trees and lives fly,
I sigh.
Caught in its timeless moment
Stolen from me is a part of me
I stand
Doing nothing.
Not at my very best
I sigh...

Love to see you squirm

love to see you squirm;
the earthworm bitten by the ants
piece for piece in the sun...
in a mood to spit fire
all i see is the dark
your pain comes as the light
for i have been hurt
left there to turn,
grovel and shovel in that pain.
i am hence the sadist
but what of the pleasure you got
as i cowered and writhed
world has never doled you the judgment.
why is it a one sided business.
oh why am i always in the dark
in the wrong.
now i want to be in the light.
i want to be the one
to bask in the theater bright...
for once let me be the cruel one
wait, for once i am the cruel one...
for once i delight
in your candles getting out-puffed
oh! love to see you squirm...
Or maybe.. maybe not...

ain't not yet forgotten

fallen...
among them dirt.
still pure
untouched as ever.
an ink drop...
it swirls and twirls and dances
to the unknown tunes
of my mind
beauty may lie in the yellow
or maybe in the brown
it is all to be swum in
for us to be brave enough to drown
as it lies in the dust
neglected and distraught
it forgets its own color
its own worth
look for there lies its beauty
in its ignorance...
for it knows not
it aint not yet forgotten...

...

My latest of findings...
Love isn't familiarity bred; it isn't a rosebush, cut and pruned beyond recognition...
Those who have never gotten drunk, well, they have this preconceived notion of that very state... and this, more often than not, is far from what is in actual. It is far from what creeps in our imagination.
We quest for beauty, but never realize what beauty is. We try to find it in the glitter off a sequin or in the colors and fabrics...; but beauty more likely would lie in that twinkle in the eye; in that spit bubble of a baby; in the laughing gurgle of a brook...
We tend to bypass what is so obvious for what we think is obvious. We get conditioned to expect certain things in life, and often that is not what happens in reality.
When we get hit by love, it is not what the films depict, nor the love songs... for what they talk about is but the tiniest fraction of what it is. Love takes us by storm, not in the sense that everything happens more quickly, just that nothing is the same ever again. The moment it happens, world goes topsy turvy, or maybe you go topsy turvy... Ah! as I said, nothing is ever the same...
Love is the total unpredictability of predictability, if you get what I mean; it is a grape vine that goes all wild and just as it should be... Love is you and me...