Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!!!

The time never does stop in its relentless race against itself. Never tiring, ever lasting. Another one of its leaves gets plucked of its tree; and a new leaf grows in its place.
As the clock strikes twelve;A cliche so overused; an end has ended and a beginning has begun.
In the ashes of the time gone, my sense of raw nature got both lost and regained. Fortune's a great mate, for now my eyes have opened, seeing what I did not for so long.
Seeped in the fluidity of time, ties holding back my wings have broken and now I soar... The sky and beyond, fearless and basking in front of the millions of them, honeyed suns. A new year to experiment with replaces a good year gone. Not even a tear to bade goodbye to what is gone, just tinkling laughter welcoming the new.
New seconds wash by; or maybe, just maybe it is just the old ones coming back- giving us a chance to relive those. An endless cycle of getting it right...
Suppose it all ends when we finally get it all in place, when finally the stars we love lines up...
And till then, it is all a pursuit of doing just that... And here is one more of those, time's jokes.
Time playing that cosmic joke; going back in time and coming back to now, a perpetual cycle of movement between here and now; and in that one cosmic heavenly second, it is all over... Till then it is a journey, an adventure, trying to find out what we should be getting right, exactly, and if we do find what that is, trying to figure out how to do that. Wow. Imagine the hard work...
Well then, Happy journey through 2010, in other words, Happy New Year.

incomplete

Blind faith comes easy to me, I reckon
No, not idolatry, no black cats,
Nor bleeding lemons.
But a beating heart connects
More magically than
Iron and a magnetic core.
Sigh! my bleating heart,
For it has been dealt several a blow.
All for a folly, a fault
To believe that twinkle in someone's eye;
A typo in the poem of my heart
Flawing the flow of a defeated life...
Words merely scrap at the surface,
A whole iceberg of emotions lie beneath.
Can I go back?
To my momma's arms,
To the warmth and smiles
Instead of the ice storms and cold darts.
Wish it were that easy
To get a magic eraser...
Oh! All for a folly, a fault
To believe that twinkle in someone's eye.

...

As I go in the bus
Or might as well walk the road
I see...
All I see are connections
Any place and every place
Holds you;
Has you inscribed there.
The slightest of scratches,
The lightest of scourings,
And i go into a flurry
I scurry and I hyperventilate
Wanting you near me
To relive that connection;
To know how we can
Maybe make it all the more better.
Yes, yes, selfish selfish me, hehe...
But yes, I want to relive
That ol' magic
not because I've forgotten, no.
Exotic tastes linger once tasted.
Making one want more, more and more;
Making one miss it, the moment it is gone.
And here I am...
Past all the limits, above all the thresholds,
Holding out to you...
... an addict; your addict for life...
For that magic
That you weave, just for me...

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

...

Winter no longer seems harsh,
It is all spring; perpetually my March.
The cold winds no longer tempt me to sleep,
All I want is to cuddle; warm, content
With you, with me,
The fire between us keeping life alive;
The blood and sweat making us breathe in life…
Where we are, will be.
Our world, warm and cool,
Fluid and crystal...
You and me, making the world
What it should be....
You and me, all
What it should be...
You and me

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

epiphanies...one of the worst

Guess what? I’d the most brilliant epiphany of my life!!! And it alleged that I qualify for the most stupid person award for I am the one who felt the need to spread cheer in this otherwise dull and colorless world. Sigh! I guess I betook it on myself to be some kind of Santa Claus with no Christmas; just an all time 24x7 one; smiling and doling out cheer! It was like a kind of romantic affair I’d. Or maybe the ghost of Don Quixote got into me. As they say about the Don, I am mad, crazy and basically stupid; very, very, very stupid. Oh how did I ever think that people wanted cheer? Least of all, from me? Oh I should’ve known it would never end right. All I achieved was loss; my loss; my loss of my cheer. Serves me right, I suppose. The ‘holier than thou’ belief always catches up with you. The fall that you encounter at the end of it all is ‘oh so wonderful’. I guess I still haven’t reached level ground. Dizzying, if not anything else. It is like falling in love; except that, this just leaves a bad taste in your mouth; whereas love leaves more than that.

Anyway, what I am getting at is, I am the nutcase you find smiling at whomsoever crosses her path. I am the nutcase who found out that they don’t just consider her a nutcase but also a promiscuous person (thank god for the word promiscuous!!!). I am the nutcase, whose dream got shattered, lying in tatters…

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Blah

My sis just pulled my hair real bad... and I almost gave it all to her; hair, mouth and slaps... Thankfully my saner and gentler side came forth and I just threw away the hairbands and let my hair loose. Wonderful, now I look like some weirdo banshee as opposed to a normal one... Do younger sisters exist just to pull your hair and scream in your ears!!! Why is it that life is such a huge pain in the neck (trying to be saner and gentler...so lets stay at neck and not go lower)... Oh you ask me why I am irritated? GHHAAAAAH! If i knew I'd not be bloody writing this, would I?
It is so much easier to live in a fairytale, right? To have a fairy godmother to always save you from the smallest of life's travails... or to have a prince charming ever ready to whisk you away to a happily ever after... to know for sure that there is a happy ending, no matter what you do, how many ever mistakes you make, how many ever evil stepmothers and stepsisters you have... Oh, those disney princesses have it so easy... and us, the poor nothing special, reality bitten hoi polloi (means common people, just had to use that...) , we just gotta live life, come whatever may; no prince charming, no fairy godmother, but loads of evil witches and wizards around...

Friday, October 23, 2009

Death in any possible way is still death. Be it by a gruesome accident, or just by dying in your sleep. The ultimate is the same.

Friday, October 16, 2009

...

Come on! How hard can it be to let go??? But then why can't I? Ugh!I'm supposed to, but how can I bring myself to severe something that means so much to me... Clutching my heart, hitching my breath, getting ready to say that ONE word- to free you and me! but then my steps falter... I find I'm not that sort of person. Me- I'm selfish, crude and horrible- I'm supposed to stop this, to break that circle of pain for you and for me... supposed to forget it was heaven when we were together.. to remember how the heaven became hell after a few days, a dream becoming a nightmare... to forget the heartache and move on.. to let you go. I can't. I can't come to terms that I'll no longer see you smile... to realise that the grimace on your face is because of me... that the clenched teeth and the tightened fists are because of me... . to imagine that the place where I belonged will no longer exist... to see that what we made together will lie shattered... just pieces of worthless spangles, wasted reminders of something precious... just glittering in the sun... letting everyone know that what we had now is no more...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I CANNOT THINK!!! My thinking process has died i suppose... a shock instilled shock? It's weird when you consider how a small thing can affect the human psych so easily and irrevocably. Well, as i said I cannot think, hence jumping through stuff... Life's unanswered questions- that's the human mind. You learn about one doesn't even mean you know the whole thing. Well, the more you try to understand it the further you are from ti.like bein closer to the church further from god???anyway forget it!fuck!who cares...

 
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