...

I feel horrible. Why do I feel horrible? See, the only advice my mom gave me was do things so that you never regret doing them. I guess I never did follow that through; because even though I say I have no regrets, I have a mountain load of regrets inside, deep down, locked into a tiny little ball. I guess it is waiting to be released. I don't want to cry out, or show weakness, because that is not who I am. I have an image, you see. An image of sunshine. But I find myself to be the exact opposite of what the world sees me to be- a black hole, sucking in a bit of my smile every single day to quench the thirst of that little ball holding in my humongous regrets. I wish I could do something about it, but I cannot survive if that tiny ball breaks. If that ball does break, so will my soul. I bet, everyone has regrets and problems. But then, why should I care about everyone. All I should be caring about is me, my sunshine and my little blue ball of regrets. But then I don't think I have the strength to go back and do my life all over again. I don't think I can make that journey again. I have grown small now. I have become weak. I can't go back. I guess I will just have to carry my burden forward. My biggest regret is that the person bearing the brunt of my tiny blue ball of regret is not exactly me, but someone who shouldn't have to be bothered by my mistakes. I just wish my little ball of regrets would go away. But then, I wouldn't be where I am right now, if not for it. And for that I am grateful for it brought me you...