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Winter no longer seems harsh,
It is all spring; perpetually my March.
The cold winds no longer tempt me to sleep,
All I want is to cuddle; warm, content
With you, with me,
The fire between us keeping life alive;
The blood and sweat making us breathe in life…
Where we are, will be.
Our world, warm and cool,
Fluid and crystal...
You and me, making the world
What it should be....
You and me, all
What it should be...
You and me

epiphanies...one of the worst

Guess what? I’d the most brilliant epiphany of my life!!! And it alleged that I qualify for the most stupid person award for I am the one who felt the need to spread cheer in this otherwise dull and colorless world. Sigh! I guess I betook it on myself to be some kind of Santa Claus with no Christmas; just an all time 24x7 one; smiling and doling out cheer! It was like a kind of romantic affair I’d. Or maybe the ghost of Don Quixote got into me. As they say about the Don, I am mad, crazy and basically stupid; very, very, very stupid. Oh how did I ever think that people wanted cheer? Least of all, from me? Oh I should’ve known it would never end right. All I achieved was loss; my loss; my loss of my cheer. Serves me right, I suppose. The ‘holier than thou’ belief always catches up with you. The fall that you encounter at the end of it all is ‘oh so wonderful’. I guess I still haven’t reached level ground. Dizzying, if not anything else. It is like falling in love; except that, this just leaves a bad taste in your mouth; whereas love leaves more than that.

Anyway, what I am getting at is, I am the nutcase you find smiling at whomsoever crosses her path. I am the nutcase who found out that they don’t just consider her a nutcase but also a promiscuous person (thank god for the word promiscuous!!!). I am the nutcase, whose dream got shattered, lying in tatters…

Blah

My sis just pulled my hair real bad... and I almost gave it all to her; hair, mouth and slaps... Thankfully my saner and gentler side came forth and I just threw away the hairbands and let my hair loose. Wonderful, now I look like some weirdo banshee as opposed to a normal one... Do younger sisters exist just to pull your hair and scream in your ears!!! Why is it that life is such a huge pain in the neck (trying to be saner and gentler...so lets stay at neck and not go lower)... Oh you ask me why I am irritated? GHHAAAAAH! If i knew I'd not be bloody writing this, would I?
It is so much easier to live in a fairytale, right? To have a fairy godmother to always save you from the smallest of life's travails... or to have a prince charming ever ready to whisk you away to a happily ever after... to know for sure that there is a happy ending, no matter what you do, how many ever mistakes you make, how many ever evil stepmothers and stepsisters you have... Oh, those disney princesses have it so easy... and us, the poor nothing special, reality bitten hoi polloi (means common people, just had to use that...) , we just gotta live life, come whatever may; no prince charming, no fairy godmother, but loads of evil witches and wizards around...

Death in any possible way is still death. Be it by a gruesome accident, or just by dying in your sleep. The ultimate is the same.

...

Come on! How hard can it be to let go??? But then why can't I? Ugh!I'm supposed to, but how can I bring myself to severe something that means so much to me... Clutching my heart, hitching my breath, getting ready to say that ONE word- to free you and me! but then my steps falter... I find I'm not that sort of person. Me- I'm selfish, crude and horrible- I'm supposed to stop this, to break that circle of pain for you and for me... supposed to forget it was heaven when we were together.. to remember how the heaven became hell after a few days, a dream becoming a nightmare... to forget the heartache and move on.. to let you go. I can't. I can't come to terms that I'll no longer see you smile... to realise that the grimace on your face is because of me... that the clenched teeth and the tightened fists are because of me... . to imagine that the place where I belonged will no longer exist... to see that what we made together will lie shattered... just pieces of worthless spangles, wasted reminders of something precious... just glittering in the sun... letting everyone know that what we had now is no more...

I CANNOT THINK!!! My thinking process has died i suppose... a shock instilled shock? It's weird when you consider how a small thing can affect the human psych so easily and irrevocably. Well, as i said I cannot think, hence jumping through stuff... Life's unanswered questions- that's the human mind. You learn about one doesn't even mean you know the whole thing. Well, the more you try to understand it the further you are from ti.like bein closer to the church further from god???anyway forget it!fuck!who cares...

There's this guy I know...

There's this guy I know... A friend who I just know as a friend's friend... a person whom I've never met before... whom I've never ever seen. All I've done is chat with him and whatever we know about each other is thanks to our mutual friend...
But you know what... he's one person who is different. I wrote a lot of stupid articles and sent them to my said friend, who showed it to this guy, who was his roomie and he used to tell my friend that all of the stuff was shit. That was till I wrote this certain story...
Later on this guy told me to start writing loads and loads... He told me to start a blog on my college life... He said it was something HE wanted to do... and he did it too... He was basically sharing HIS dream with me. He was sharing his mind's baby with a person he has never ever seen before. Imagine THAT!
So... basically my blogs are for that guy too... What he told me struck a chord somewhere deep inside me... I was just a stranger to him, and the fact that he told me that made me feel like he was one of the sweetest people in the world and that i could write well... hehe, weird na, how people can affect you. They can inspire, they can make you feel like you are full of shit. And I am one of the lucky ones who always find the ones who inspire...
Thanks re... for that! and thanks to all the others too...