There's this guy I know...

There's this guy I know... A friend who I just know as a friend's friend... a person whom I've never met before... whom I've never ever seen. All I've done is chat with him and whatever we know about each other is thanks to our mutual friend...
But you know what... he's one person who is different. I wrote a lot of stupid articles and sent them to my said friend, who showed it to this guy, who was his roomie and he used to tell my friend that all of the stuff was shit. That was till I wrote this certain story...
Later on this guy told me to start writing loads and loads... He told me to start a blog on my college life... He said it was something HE wanted to do... and he did it too... He was basically sharing HIS dream with me. He was sharing his mind's baby with a person he has never ever seen before. Imagine THAT!
So... basically my blogs are for that guy too... What he told me struck a chord somewhere deep inside me... I was just a stranger to him, and the fact that he told me that made me feel like he was one of the sweetest people in the world and that i could write well... hehe, weird na, how people can affect you. They can inspire, they can make you feel like you are full of shit. And I am one of the lucky ones who always find the ones who inspire...
Thanks re... for that! and thanks to all the others too...

... 2

I do know that I love him,
This once I know what my feelings are,
For once, I see it too clearly,
Because this time, I'm so unselfish about....

But it is so much better
To just shut up about it all.
Telling him will only hurt, no, not me,
But the one towards whom the feelings direct.

Right now, I revel
In these castles in the air
Atleast I've this one little connection
With him, if not a word, a promise.

For all the times I've fallen for someone,
This once, Ive risen above myself.
It feels like I feel his every thought
As if it were my own.

But better it is
If he knew not any of mine-
My dreams, my heart,
My castles in th air,
My love for his happiness,
That twinkle in his eyes,
And that breeze sifting through his hair-
That from afar I do care....

me...

I am a hugely flawed person and the only time I accept my flaws is when I find it out myself, on my own. Another one of the flaws is that I don’t accept stuff, I rather go into denial; if you know what I mean; about feelings for a person, ideologies and people wholly as such. I also have this problem that when someone says something about me, I think that person’s judging me. I get angry I guess. But I feel the anger more strongly because I am judging myself along with that person. It is frustration because I am not able to accept that particular flaw in me. When I like a person, I keep talking about that person and this lands me in trouble for I never look into the dire consequences of this. What I can’t understand is the fact that I can accept most of my flaws when I am writing. But I become a spitfire when I am told these face to face. You know what another one of my great flaws is? It’s the fact that I make a huge issue out of my flaws. A huge issue when it must be actually a miniscule thing is get concerned about.

just another train of thoughts...

Why is it that dreams collapse??? It hurts a lot you see... To know your heart has kind of turned upside down and then wrenched out of your chest and then been hammered to bits and pieces right in front of your eyes! It is sad to come to know that the person whom you trusted doesn't trust you any more... That maybe you also don't trust him. Maybe your heart is too big to love just one person and that it isn't right to do that either!!! Is it right that your heart is too large to love just one person... Why is it that I cannot do just this? It is saddening right??
To think that the guy you thought was your life thinks of you in not so good a tone is in itself heart breaking... but to think you'll lose that one guy who was both your best friend and much much more is crushing...

There was this one guy whom I loved so differently I couldn't understand it at all! It's saddening it's to come to an end. I loved this guy with a passion. You know, when one gets angry there's this rush of energy, of adrenaline coursing through your body... Imagine that same force and spirit when you are loving that person. That same vigor, only thing it is not in anger, but rather in love that you feel all this. Till now, I'd always known love to be calm, relaxing and loving. But knowing this guy made my heart pump blood faster, my brain numb and me just doing whatever my instincts tell me! And to think whatever I'd done shouldn't have been done. To love and then lose is BAD, trust me. I know. That loser feeling is hurtful, losing all of one's self confidence is annihilating. What can I say? Love of the anger kind is just there to bring tears later... Tears of sadness and devastation...
Love of the anger kind is just like anger. Anger burns the person who has it more than the person to whom it is directed. So is this love. This fire which you kindle for the other person burns you more than him...